There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
