some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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