Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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