You don't have asthma, your pregnant
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
