a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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