I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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