I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
