What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
