I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
