Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
