Don't you send me to vm
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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