That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize
