You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Randomize
