How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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