HIV tests are more positive than that guy
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Just pee around me
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
