We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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