Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
