Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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