so explain again why im purple
no
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
