You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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