i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
