You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Randomize
