Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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