There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
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