I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
