Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
