3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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