Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
