Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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