party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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