Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
