your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
