Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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