I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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