I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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