Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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