OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
