the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
