it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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