Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
