The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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