i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Please, let me fuck your mom
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
