This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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