U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
