this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
now i know why i became what i already was.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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