omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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