I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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