I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
