chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Im part way to drunk.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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