You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Randomize
