I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
