I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
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