So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
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