I feel like I'm in dance class right now
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
