great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
