i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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