maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize